Too Much
by lyviel
Summary: Klaus was used to a lot of things, violence when fighting crime as a child, abandonment when his family gave up on him, even living rough on the streets with only himself to rely on. He wasn't prepared for Dave, so careful and steady, or how gentle their first kiss would be. This was definitely going to take some getting used to.


It was weird, going from content and happy to feeling trapped and stifled. Overall it had been a great night, dancing in a club with Dave, enjoying a rare night on leave with both of them pleasantly buzzed, ending with the two of them falling into bed together, laughing and tired but in a pleasant sort of way, not the bone-weary exhaustion they felt while in the field.

Klaus had been so relaxed and content here wrapped up in Dave's arms, drifting in and out of sleep, but now a few hours later suddenly he was wide awake and it felt suffocating. It had been so nice not too long ago, but now he felt trapped, like the embrace was crushing him, like he might crawl out of his own skin if he didn't get away immediately. He scrambled out of Dave's grasp, ignoring the quiet disappointed sound he drew from him and started pacing, feeling like a wild animal trapped in a cage, trying to keep his breathing steady.

"Klaus?" Dave said, voice rough with sleep. He didn't try to reach out to him which Klaus was grateful for. Instead he stayed where he was, propping himself up on an elbow to watch him, waiting to see what Klaus was willing to share in moments like these. Why was he always so damn considerate?

"Just gotta stretch," Klaus said a little frantically as he did just that. "Gotta stay limber. We're at war, you know."

"I hadn't noticed," Dave joked, smiling as he watched him, but he still looked concerned.

"Can't risk spraining something, not before we get shot at least, that'd piss off the higher ups. God, why is it so fucking hot in here," he said, scratching at his arms, feeling like his own skin was too small for him. "Why are these shitty rooms always so hot?"

He began digging through his jacket pockets with shaky hands. Drugs were great for drowning out the ghosts, sure, but he was beginning to remember how great they were for drowning out all these confusing emotions too. Instead he actually had to deal with them. Gross. He had a joint on him, he'd have to wait to get anything else. He could go now he supposed but he'd feel bad walking out on Dave like this.

"Need anything?" Dave offered because of course he did.

"Could use something a whole lot stronger," Klaus muttered, fumbling with the joint as he lit it. He stood there smoking, slumped and folded in on himself, acting like he wasn't avoiding eye contact and was just preoccupied with the joint.

"Are they particularly loud tonight?" Dave asked.

It was kinda weird having someone talk about the fact Klaus could see ghosts so casually. Usually people from this time period just assumed he was full of shit. Maybe Dave did too at first, who knows, but he'd apparently paid enough attention to notice the way Klaus muttered at ghosts when they were too much or his never-ending nightmares. Maybe that was enough proof for him to believe. Maybe he already believed in ghosts and that just made believing that much easier. Or maybe none of that mattered because he believed Klaus thought he could see them and that was enough.

"It's not that, just-" he waved a hand vaguely, dispersing some smoke as he did so, but what was he supposed to say? How could he make Dave understand when he himself couldn't quite figure this all out? "I feel like I'm coming out of my own skin and it's all just— You ever feel like you need to just move? Maybe get into a fight or two?"

"What, you don't get enough of that on the battlefield?" Dave asked with a laugh, but it was short lived, concern in his eyes. "I know you can hold your own, but I'd still rather you didn't run off at 4 in the morning. Why don't you sit down and talk to me?"

"Talk?" Klaus said incredulously. He couldn't help the bitter laugh. "I'll have you know the Hargreeves have a prestigious history of repressing that shit. We make it a point not to talk about anything. I mean, mom would listen even if she didn't understand, but don't talk about it in front of dear old dad or your daily training would get a whole lot worse. God forbid any of us show any weaknesses."

"He sounds like a balanced and emotionally mature individual," Dave joked, and Klaus realized he wasn't going to push.

He was just going to sit there and let him get away with freaking out and acting weird, letting him know that he had support if he wanted it, but otherwise just stepping back and letting Klaus deal with this in his own time and it was terrifying, the acceptance in his eyes. He was just looking at him, being all supportive and shit, and Klaus thought he could stare him down, or wait him out, but he just couldn't handle it. He barely lasted a few seconds.

"Fuck! I'm scared, okay?!" he said, throwing his hands in the air, pacing again. And now that he'd started, suddenly he wanted to keep going. So he did. "It's just- I'm not used to this. I'm used to living on the streets and back alley fights. I'm used to living rough on my own, always looking out for number one. And before that, hell, did you know our dad raised us to fight crime? We were just kids, how insane is that? Not that I was particularly useful half the time, but still. It's just so much, there's the war and the yelling and the ghosts and my own thoughts and just, it's all too loud, all the time. And that's bad enough, but then you have to come along and I just, it's a lot, okay?"

"Hey," Dave said, suddenly serious enough to stop Klaus' pacing. "If you don't want this, it's fine."

"What?"

"If you think this was a mistake, if you'd rather this be a one time thing, that's fine. Don't get me wrong, I thought it was pretty groovy that you were into me too, but if you'd rather go back to the way things were-"

"Oh my god why are you so fucking adorable?" Klaus said, somewhere between charmed and exasperated at the unironic use of the word 'groovy.' Dave gave him that lopsided grin of his, always amused when Klaus reacted this way to something normal for the 60's. Klaus wasn't sure if he actually believed the time travel stuff, maybe he was just amused by Klaus' dedication to the bit, but at least he didn't think he was making fun of him.

Klaus groaned and covered his face, turning to drop down on the bed beside Dave, because there it was again, that fondness bubbling up inside him, a warmth spreading through his entire body somewhere between wonderful and terrifying.

He liked Dave, he liked him a lot, more than anyone else he'd ever known. Klaus wasn't used to liking anyone, not like this, not to the point where just the thought of him sent warmth through his chest. It was the dumbest thing he'd ever heard. When Dave was around, he wanted him to be happy, he'd do anything to make him smile. And it was just too much.

Klaus sighed, flopping onto his back across Dave's knees. "I don't regret this, I just-" He trailed off, staring up at the ceiling, because what was he supposed to say? "I don't know, I just, I'm not used to this! It's weird."

"What exactly is weird?" Dave sat up, running a hand through Klaus' hair in a surprisingly soothing gesture.

"Everything?" Klaus exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air for emphasis. "I don't know how to deal with this, I don't know what it means and I'm freaking out. I mean, if you had any sense you'd run for the hills. My family is smart, they all stopped answering my calls a long time ago. I'll probably just end up letting you down too."

"Are you trying to talk me into breaking up with you?" Dave asked. "Because it's not working."

"Why not?!"

"Can't help it," Dave said, stealing the blunt to take a drag from it before giving it back. "I like you. And I don't exactly have any expectations here so you really can't let me down. I like what we have now, you don't have to give me anything. And I mean, you've already saved my life half a dozen times, if anything I think I'm the one who owes you."

Klaus just stared at him incredulously before opening his mouth again. "I thought I got it, you know? My place and all that? I'm the one everyone tolerates because I know how to have a good time, but that's it. And you come along and have the audacity to be so- so- nice! And you have to go and make me care too. What am I supposed to do with that?"

"What do you want to do with it?"

"I don't know, that's the whole point, _Dave._" Klaus glared at him but that only made Dave laugh and why did that have to sound so nice?

"Tell you what," Dave said. "How about we start with what you do like and we can go from there."

"I guess I had a fun tonight, not counting whatever the hell all this is," Klaus said, gesturing vaguely as he sat up, sitting cross legged on the bed and Dave did the same.

"I had fun too," he said with an encouraging smile.

"I like you?" Klaus said after a moment of thought.

"Well that's good," Dave said with a laugh. "I like you, too. And I really like kissing you."

"Good, because you're not allowed to stop."

"Not if I can help it," Dave laughed again. "What about before, when we were sleeping? Was I holding you too tightly?"

"I don't know. It was nice. Maybe that's the problem. I'm not exactly used to- that," he finished lamely.

"What, spooning?"

"No, just," Klaus waved a hand vaguely again. "Feeling just- generally how you make me feel." Being held so close, like he mattered, like he actually meant something, had been nice but that's what made it terrifying too. He wasn't used to wanting to feel that way either. He thought living on his own, for himself, was enough, but now he wanted so much more.

"Does that fall into the good or bad category?" Dave asked.

"Good but scary?"

"Well, we can definitely take this slower. I can sleep in the other bed, or-"

"No, absolutely not," Klaus cut him off. "That definitely falls into the bad category, I'd like to get back to the spooning here pretty soon actually. We can't exactly share a cot once leave is over so I wanna get as much of it in as possible while we have the chance. Besides, if it's not this, it'll just be something else. I just might need a minute sometimes."

"Is there anything that might help? Something you usually do when you're upset? Maybe I can help get you somewhere quiet if you need, something like that."

"Usually when things are too much, or, you know, when I just don't want to feel anything, I'll just get high out of my mind."

"Hey man, no," Dave said, but it wasn't a reprimand, it was more concerned and support. "We already have enough reason to want to be high as a kite, I don't want to be another one for you. I don't want to be one of your ghosts."

"I know, I know," Klaus said with a sight. "I just don't know how to deal with anything I guess."

"I hadn't noticed," Dave said with a smile.

"Rude!" Klaus said, grabbing a pillow and hitting Dave with it.

"Ow, okay, okay," Dave said, laughing. "Really though, it's chill. How about this, I know it's scary, and we've got the war on top of everything else, but you don't have to go through this alone. Neither of us do. We can just figure it out as we go. No more trying to deal on our own, okay?"

"Thanks for saying 'we' in there, as if you need the help too," Klaus sighed as he stamped out the blunt on the bedpost before flopping back onto the bed, suddenly feeling so drained after all of that.

"Hey," Dave said, lying on his side next to him. "You do more for me than you realize. I'm not sure I would have made it this far without you."

Klaus didn't want to think about that so he moved closer, letting Dave wrap his arms around him as he pulled a blanket up over them both. How was it possible to find someone like this, so gentle and full of love, in a war zone of all places? It didn't seem fair.

He couldn't help but let his mind wander back to earlier that night, to their first kiss. It had been so soft, Dave's hand warm on the side of his face as Klaus leaned in just the last few inches left between them, a stolen moment alone. Dave was so impossibly gentle as they kissed. It was such a small tentative thing and Klaus couldn't help but just melt into it, feeling warmer and safer than he ever had and he'd only had to travel fifty some odd years to find it.

Dave always felt that way, steady and reliable; everything he did felt like it was important, capturing his entire attention. That included when he was with Klaus. Meanwhile Klaus' mind was always running a mile a minute, his body fidgeting restlessly no matter his state. They couldn't be less alike in that regard, but somehow it was a comfort, knowing Dave would be there, solid, calm, tethering him to the moment, a refuge to return to when everything was shit, or when the ghosts were too much and he was out of drugs.

He was so fucked up and Dave couldn't fix him, it didn't work like that. He'd always be haunted and struggling with addiction, but maybe he didn't have to be so alone, not with Dave, a strong hand steadying him when he thought he might collapse under the weight of it all. Someone willing to help him pick up the pieces when he fell apart, to stand by his side no matter how ugly all of this got.

Or something like that anyway. Klaus rarely let himself get quite that deep. Right now he was warm and comfortable and Dave kissed his forehead and that was all he needed for now. It quieted his mind and let him finally drift back to sleep.


End file.
